Monday, May 18, 2009

Of Vomit and Star Trek...

Showering is tough.

All things considered this was a pretty good weekend. I saw the Revs not lose, I drank a shitload of beer, I threw up and saw Star Trek. By the way... never have I shown up that late to a party (especially where they are playing Beirut) and still found that much beer in the keg... fucking amateur hour man. We drank a lot of shitty keg beer (with 5 dudes for every girl I'm not sure what else we were supposed to do) and danced along to all the gangsta hits of the 90's*. I don't really remember getting home, but I do remember waking up fully clothed on the middle of my floor at abour 8:15AM. I didn't drive folks so don't worry. Actually it was that bastard Fran behind the wheel, but we'll get to him later.

I spent a good portion of Sunday on the couch watching Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory and trying to stave off the inevitable esophageal eruption just around the corner. This so happened to be the day that my mother was making her first meal for us since she got out of the hospital. She had a stroke in late March and was in one hospital or another until late April. Feeling like death, but wanting to support my still recovering mother I came to the table and tried to eat. The second I ate that god damned carrot it just wanted out. I ran to the toilet and just barely made in time to see said carrot along with the chinese food I had forgotten I stole at the party the night before (See: how awesome I am). After I got the "all clear" from my gut I felt great. Just a quick mouth rinse I was at the table and finishing my meal.

While at dinner I learned that my parents and sister were going to see Star Trek at the IMAX Theater at Jordan's Furniture in Natick. For anyone who doesn't know Jordan's Furniture, that probably sounds reall weird but trust me it's not. I also learned that my dad had an extra ticket in the offchance that my dickhead brother or I might want to join them. As I was now feeling good and my brother still feeling the effects of a night not dissimilar from mine, I decided to take that extra ticket and we had a little family outing to the furniture store to vidi a film.

Since this IMAX theater is in a furniture store, it seems only fitting that the seats are all made of tempur-pedic foam. I mean duh. They also have subwoofers in all of the seats that they call "butt-kickers" which spent the entire 2 hours of the film numbing my ass into submission. It was great.

As far as the movie is concerned... I thought it was very good. I've been a nerd... um... er... Star Trek fan for many many years and I thought this one was great. The characters were all very well portrayed. There were more than enough throwbacks to the original series without getting too silly. Karl Urban was a great Bones and even had some of the exact same facial expressions as DeForest Kelley. My only real problem was with Sulu... Nothing against John Cho or even his portrayal really, but it just wasn't the same without Takei's creepily deep voice. But I guess it's not every century you find a gay asian man with a baritone voice like that. Aside from that minuscule issue I really enjoyed it. They did a pretty good job with explaining how it was the same but not the same as the original series. They used an established villain (well established race anyway). And most importantly, they made it an accesible film to newcomers without completely alienating the old fans. (George Lucas should take some fucking notes)

In other news... I've been coaching a middle school co-ed indoor soccer team for the past couple of months. Today we played our semifinal match and won 9-2... we actually won every game before that too. Wednesday we play in the championship game and I'm very much hoping that we won't repeat the 07-08 Patriots final. I've already decided that if we win I am going to buy my own championship banner and hang it in the gym... I don't care, I think it would be awesome.

Anyway... In closing I guess I'd just like to point out how much Fran sucks...


*FUN FACT: The song in the video linked here is actually my ringtone... YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!


  1. somehow each new "fran sucks" picture tops the last one... two out of a possible two kudos

  2. Sweet photo of Fran...nice megaphone where did you get it?

  3. If they let you into theaters missing an arm, will you be seeing T4? And if it were possible to possess logic without both arms, do you trust them not to use a script from a previous movie?