Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Another guy who sucks...

...in addition to Fran.

This asshole from Star Tropics for the NES:

like seriously... it's a fucking ostrich with a human skull for a head. This dude hops around and, news to me, can jump over small bodies of water... How the hell am I supposed to take two of these pricks on with nothing but a yo-yo? I may never save Mike Jones' uncle from the aliens.

Oh god damn it!

Monday, June 22, 2009

In case you forgot...

There is this guy named Fran, and he eats balls all the time. Dudes balls to be specific.

He's one of my very best friends, but HOLY SHIT DOES HE FUCKING SUCK!

Professional Suckbag

Thank you for your time.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I've got the pistols, so I'll keep the pesos...


Last week I finally decided I'd break down and buy a god damn Wii. So I shelled out the cash, picked up the latest (3 years old) Zelda game and I've been holed up playing that shit like whoa. My estimate is that I'm only about halfway through, and it's excellent. I'll probably write up a full report upon completion.

I've been playing this damn thing too much so I think I'm going to shut it off. Throw Slapshot in the old DVD player and go to bed.

Oh yeah... Fran puked all over my street at ab
out 3:30am (I think). Woke up my brother and probably half the neighborhood. God he sucks.


Saturday, June 6, 2009

T-Shirt, Dish Dirt...

Baby I'm ready to old... Wait, that sucked.

A big happy birthday to Saffron, lead singer of Republica, who turned Forty FUCKING One this week. I, for one, totally had the hots for her when I was like 13. Who is Republica? You may as well ask who GOD is! Although chances are you're just retarded.
Republica, probably the best band in the world to only last 4 years, was a prolific "electronica" group that reached the height of their success with hits such as "Ready To Go" and "Drop Dead Gorgeous" in the mid-90's. The latter, to reach 93 on the US Top 100... the former to feature some of the finest lyrics ever to escape the idiot brain of a 4 year old special-ed student.
"You sleep, too deep, one week is another world
Big mouth, drop out,
You get what you deserve
You're stange, insane, one thing you can never change

Well. I love it. And... oh shit, my pizza is here... Ok time for an abrupt ending...